While we're on this topic, another oversight I'd like to note: I've heard infinite versions of this claim an infinite number of times - the final frontier in gender equality, what's really holding women back from having it all, is men shirking their share of childcare and housework.Social cognitive learning even now that the tide of public opinion has turned towards perfect gender equality, still they leave their towels on the floor and their dishes in the sink!Social cognitive learning whyyyyyyy?

Being married to such a shirker myself - the oblivious kind described in this essay who doesn't even know that things need to be done most of the time ("we were supposed to RSVP for preschool classmate's birthday party?") - I suppose I sympathize in a way with the frustrations expressed by all these superwomen.Social cognitive learning but what I don't understand is why housework is always understood as exclusively cooking and cleaning. Is that the only work done in most such frustrated households?Social cognitive learning

Now there may well be some women who do all these things, who do literally ALL the work of running a modern, middle-class family, in addition to cooking and cleaning and making school lunches.Social cognitive learning such women have grounds for complaint. But I suspect that most households do divide their household labor, and that there is just less exasperation over women doing less of the mowing and grilling and car repairing than their husbands as there is over their husbands doing less laundry and kid birthday party planning.Social cognitive learning

Moreover, it actually doesn't make a lot of sense to share all the household tasks equally. There are dozens if not hundreds of tasks required to keep the modern middle-class household (with kids) running, and all these tasks have learning curves, some quite steep.Social cognitive learning the economic logic of specialization applies to the household too. When both spouses work full-time and have kids, there isn't a lot of time to spare to learn how to cook from zero, or to start a course in financial planning.Social cognitive learning the cost is even higher when you have no interest in the task, especially if your spouse actually does. In those cases, you will do a poor job at something your spouse really cares about having done well.Social cognitive learning the result is many bad dinners that easily could've been good ones: the reality of quality sacrificed for the abstraction of equality. How will this conduce to family happiness?Social cognitive learning

This doesn't require a single, society-wide gendered division of household labor. Obviously, some men like to cook and are good at it, and they should cook if their wives don't want to.Social cognitive learning some women are better at money management than their husbands. All fine. In reality, most household tasks are not even traditionally "gendered" (like is there a sex more typically suited to dog-walking?), and many are not enjoyed by either spouse, and it's basically a race to the bottom to get them done, while another group are almost always shared anyway.Social cognitive learning but since the majority of households in which women complain about unfair divisions of labor are headed by two adults, one of each sex, it's useful and probably necessary that women specialize in some of the tasks, and the men in others. "Overcoming" this specialization by making both do everything will only increase the burden of household labor for both, leaving less time for kids and career.Social cognitive learning