It’s funny, isn’t it? How certain events take on new layers of meaning after some time has gone by. Six years ago I was trying to imagine what it would be like to move across the country, to live in new jersey, to be a pastor here.Cognitive learning would a congregation in new jersey accept a southern woman with an obsessive love of college basketball? Would I be able to learn how to handle the snow?Cognitive learning would I find friends here? (the question that haunts us from middle school forward.)

I don’t have any of those worries now. I have found dear friends here, I can (mostly) deal with the snow, and you are exceptionally patient with my basketball stories.Cognitive learning looking back, I can see that in the warm way I was received by the call committee and by the people of st. Andrew that day, god was reassuring me that everything would be OK.Cognitive learning don’t be scared, god was saying. I’ve got you.

Our gospel today is a flashback. In recent weeks we’ve heard some of the usual stories about jesus showing up to prove to his disciples that he really was risen from the dead and to prepare them for what would come next.Cognitive learning he’s encountered them on the road to emmaus (where they didn’t recognize him), in a locked room (where they were huddled together in fear), and on a beach after a fishing expedition (where he cooked them breakfast).Cognitive learning

But today we go all the way back to the night when jesus gathered with his friends for the last time before his death. It’s part of a few chapters in john’s gospel in which jesus gives what is formally known as his farewell discourse.Cognitive learning in other words, he’s saying goodbye to many of the people dearest to him. He’s offering these final words of wisdom and comfort before things turn ugly later that night.Cognitive learning the evening had already been pretty strange. Jesus had washed the disciples’ feet – in spite of peter’s protests. He had told them to love other people in that same way – with humility, with tenderness.Cognitive learning

And now jesus is promising them an advocate. They have no idea what he means. How could they? Jesus is promising them that the holy spirit will be there with them when he is not.Cognitive learning that holy spirit will be an advocate in the truest sense – as the one who will give them the words to say when they have run out of words, as the counselor who will show them what to do and where to go, as the encourager who will urge them onward when they feel overwhelmed.Cognitive learning later, when they are learning what it means to share their stories of jesus and lead the growing movement of his followers, some of what he’s saying on this night will make better sense.Cognitive learning but for now they are confused.

I hear those words now in much less dangerous circumstances, and even I wonder: what does he mean? I flinch a little when he says “do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid.” what do you mean let them, jesus?Cognitive learning most of the time, when I am afraid, it feels like something I have no control over. I don’t let my heart be troubled. Fear just sneaks up and grabs us all by the ankles, and it is hard to shake off.Cognitive learning so when jesus says, “do not let your hearts be troubled…do not let them be afraid,” my first impulse is to say, “and how exactly am I supposed to stop the fear?”

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In his long and winding goodbye speech, jesus gives his peace as a gift – no strings attached. He makes a point of saying that he does not give this gift in the way that the world gives.Cognitive learning we all know how the world gives. The world makes us earn the prize. It makes us wait until we feel worthy or deserving of the gift before we take it.Cognitive learning the world might give us many things, but it always expects something in return.

But jesus does not give like that. He gives us peace. He gives us peace simply because he loves us.Cognitive learning not because we earn it as a prize or can offer something in return. Because he loves us. It is not a peace that promises nothing terrible will happen.Cognitive learning it is a peace that promises to be with us throughout the beautiful and terrible moments that are a part of every life.

Writer mary karr gave a commencement speech at syracuse in 2015 in which she talked a lot about fear.Cognitive learning she says that the opposite of love isn’t hate or indifference. The opposite of love is fear. And while she acknowledges that most major religions tell you that loving other people helps with the fear, she also knows how powerful fear can be.Cognitive learning in her words:

The fear, as mary notes, can be gripping. It is also inevitable. In this crazy life, if we’re never afraid, then we’re probably not paying attention.Cognitive learning but when terror cracks open those crevices in our souls, god has a way of getting in. Peace I leave with you. My own peace I give to you. That peace might come dressed as a dear friend.Cognitive learning it might find us in a text or a tweet. In something our kids or grandkids or nieces and nephews say. But when it comes, it is a gift – and asks nothing more than to be welcomed in.Cognitive learning

Mary ended her commencement speech with a story about a professor named walt who helped her at a time when she was filled with fear and experiencing significant depression.Cognitive learning walt and his wife helped mary get into therapy and then gave her several easy jobs so that she could pay for it, like “babysitting” their high school-aged kids who didn’t really need a babysitter.Cognitive learning